A shopping and tax haven come to life
Oh, I know you’ve desperately been stewing over whether I added the country of Andorra to my Has Beens. You probably have been so preoccupied, your eyes look like you rubbed bits from the furnace under them, and your body parts randomly spasm in fatigue.
Well, that stops now.
Tonight, you will sleep like Snow White before the kiss.
Here is your answer: YES. We ventured north to Andorra. Yes, my passport holds another stamp. Rather, I wish it did, but the Bambi eyes I gave the border guard didn’t convince him to get out his ink pad.
My musings about Andorra
I’m sure we all have preconceived notions about something.
For instance, you might glance at a plate of mahi mahi with sunken eyeballs and think that grayish matter looks off. Preconceived notion: fish the colour of my ponytail is bad. I really shouldn’t put it down my throat.
But you do. And either you’re hunky dory. Or you spend eighteen hours in a Fijian emergency room that looks more like the innards of Dickens’ jail cell.
Admittedly, we had some presumptions about the teeny country of Andorra.
What we expected to see:
- Yodelers – or at least Sound of Music diehards twirling about barren mountainsides.
- Streets so cobbled your ankles pray for tensors and pub breaks.
- Folks as friendly and as smiley as in Barcelona.
What we did see:
- Waists wrapped in Gucci belts.
- Roadsters so sleek you expected Gordon Ramsay or Kylie Jenner to slide out of them.
- Price tags with markup formulas high enough that you practically have to refinance your house to purchase sneakers. Even I, the non-shopper, fell prey: a pair grabbed first my eyeballs and then my wallet so hard that now I’m practically homeless.
- A few gorgeous stone buildings dotted the historic center, but mostly
- a skyline filled with modern high-rises. In the spaces where there weren’t skyscrapers, there were cranes. Dozens of them. Filling the valley with even more concrete and glass.
And a bonus…What we smelled:
- Money. Everywhere you turned, you could smell money.
Why they’re makin’ bank
Andorra proudly rakes in substantial dough from tourism with over 8 million visitors a year. It’s other dirty little not-so-secret: it’s a “tax haven”. To be clear, it’s not like many offshore havens, but the country does offer extremely low personal taxes. Zero percent, anyone?
- You’ll fork out 5% if you earn between €24,001 and €40,000 ($38,600 to $64,400 CAD).
- The maximum ceiling for taxes is a flat 10%, and that is if you’re raking in over €40,000 Euros.
- Corporations are only charged two percent.
- Andorra also doesn’t tax individuals on wealth, capital gains, or inheritance.
According to the World Travel Index, here are the pluses and minuses to visiting Andorra:
According to Jen and Mark, here are the pros and cons:
Before an amazing Andorran pins my photo to their dartboard, I beg you to keep in mind that these day-trip impressions are based on a very limited timeframe. (That’s legal speak for “please don’t sue me”.)
Would I go back? You ask.
Not a fair qualifier, I will respond. Very few spots make it onto my travel-twice list. But here are the pluses and minuses.
Pros
- A workout even Bullyjuice couldn’t compete with. A few more days on that hilly terrain and my thigh muscles would’ve had their own zip code.
- Outdoor patios. Even in -2-degree weather, hatless folks were lunching in the great outdoors. Oddly enough, the restaurant we chose had its smoking section in an enclosed terrace.
- No matter which way you spun, mountains greeted you. It was a panorama come to life.
Cons
- Everything felt a bit impersonal, as though, well, we were phantoms rather than actual skinbags with personalities and desires.
- It felt like being at a Kardashian family reunion. Except we were the hired help. Who wasn’t being paid. Or acknowledged.
Maybe I’m being a bit harsh. Even if we didn’t find any yodelers, the scenery was breathtaking. And I added a country to my list. As well as a pair of very funky and expensive shoes to my closet.
